"If you find yourself here, on my side of town I pray that you'd come to my door."

She ran to the door, and jumped into his arms. Like she had known him for her entire four years of life.  And he felt the same way. 

photo by Shannon Conner

She held tightly to his shoulder, as he spoke with her mother about her battle with AIDS. Her mother will not live much longer, but this beautiful child is too young to know the depth her illness. So she clings to life, because that is what children do. And the moment that she is forced to stare death in the face, she will cease to be a child. 

So upon hearing this story, I quickly hoped that this beautiful child would be returning with Thomas on the plane so she could remain a child...at least for a little while longer. And then I had to stop and ask myself, "what would she receive here as a child of God that she will not receive there?" She is a CHILD OF GOD, and His love is as vast as the ocean. 

I got this picture last night at 2:30am and was immediately taken by the only legible word that seemed to bridge the space between Thomas and Jordanna (I believe this is her name). LOVE. 

He said he had to leave her yesterday. He sounded a bit defeated, maybe a little wounded. But still hopeful. He has the heart of Christ so I know that love will carry him home as it continues to bridge the space between. 

love deeply. 

"I'll be leaving Tennessee on the first plane."

"Tennessee, you've been good to me 

Yes, I've come to believe you're where I wanna be 

You may not be what everybody needs 

but Tennessee, you're good enough for me 

I can see stars shining in your night 

Your daytime seems like Cash and Patsy Cline 

They may not be what everybody needs 

But they touch my soul 

That's good enough for me 

It's been ten years now, and I'm rooted in your soil 

I am rooted in your soil 

Give me ten more years, I'll be rooted in your soil 

Right here in your soil 

You may not be what I will always need 

But I call you home 

If I can call you home 

Then you're good enough for me" 

-Mindy Smith

I never allowed these words to mean more than song lyrics. I can't say that I ever wanted Tennessee to feel like home. But it does. So, as I pack my things and sleep in a different Tennessee city each night, I realize how connected my heart is to the place that I have feared to call home. Nashville, Murfreesboro, Franklin, Johnson City, Knoxville, etc. 

They may not be what everybody needs, but they touched my soul and that's good enough for me.

Tennessee, you will always be home to me. So this isn't goodbye, just "see you later!"

"If life is for the living and love is for the strong, I don't know how I got here but I know that He belongs"

This is an entry from May 19, 2007, one year ago today.

"Pain is such an interesting thing. Everyone feels pain. Everyone has experienced some form of pain. A bruise, a cut, a sickness, or disease. The depth of pain may vary, but we still consider it to be pain. I work(ed) with kids and when they come up to me and say, 'Ms. Leslie, I don't feel very good,' my first questions is always,

can you tell me where it hurts?

We want to know the location of the pain first before the intensity. I believe it is because the depth of pain varies, but we've all felt it. So we identify first with the source of pain and follow up with the 'what hurts the most?' or 'what does it feel like?' I guess by saying these things I am able to identify at a deeper level, the pain they are feeling. But the truth is, I will never know or feel their pain. As much as a child tries to elaborate pain to me...

I will never know how bad it hurts.

I was reflecting on some scripture this morning. As believers, we all feel pain. This is what identifies us with Christ. Sometimes it is intense emotional pain from life and other times it is pain that you bear for someone else. John Piper's largest platform discusses the presence of pain in a Christian's life due to the Christ that is within you. We are the branches and so if the vine experiences pain, so do the branches. Our greatest common denominator is the pain. It is an indicator that something is changing or something is wrong. Physical pain is the body's way of communicating to us that the body is in need of attention. Therefore, spiritual pain is Christ's way of communication to us that He is in need of some attention.

"Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me." -John 15:4

"...every branch that does not bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit." -John 15:2

I am going to step out and say that the pruning process isn't painless. It takes cutting and shaping and new beginnings. And so, it is necessary to bear pain, in order to bear fruit."

"I was born to tell you I love you!"

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Shane and Anne Templeton! 

My brother got married this weekend. It was a beautiful wedding in the mountains of Banner Elk, North Carolina. It was the happiest I have ever seen him. I listened to Anne and Shane give their vows to one another that they had written. Words of love, commitment, perseverance, thanksgiving, hope, expectancy, encouragement, grace, and trust. 

Thank you both for letting me be a part of such a beautiful day!

this is the start of something good...

today I feel the need to reflect a bit. look back as I look forward. In December of 2006, a movement was started. maybe you have heard of it??? Its called REVO. It now occupies space in the hearts of hundreds, maybe thousands of people across the globe. So I want to take you back to the beginning...at least the beginning, as it was for me.

to the start of something good....

December 11, 2006

a sticker. that is all it takes to start a movement. I saw this sticker

on the back of a car in Hilo, Hawaii and wondered to myself, "what in the world is re,africa,o? seriously...what does it mean? and I asked and found out that it was some sort of benefit show for a small orphanage in Malawi, Africa. Then I sat down with Nina Brav to discuss this event. Nina then informed me that REVO was much bigger than an event. Its an idea, or a movement. Something that inspires people to love for the sake of love. A movement that encourages people to stop waiting on the world to change, and to start changing it themselves! 

a few months prior to my conversation with nina, I had been involved in planning an event for Blood:Water Mission to raise awareness and money to build clean water wells in Africa. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to join forces with REVO to become part of an existing movement so that we could inspire people to act and take part in changing the world. 

here are some excerpts from conversations that nina and I had following my time in Hawaii.

January 3, 2006

Nina, 

here's the thing, this whole "revo" thing has been weighing on my heart lately. Probably more than a lot of other things. The desire to start a revolution, to see Jesus and life and love through people and places and experience, is moving inside of me at a rapid pace. It just won't slow down. And with that, my passion to put on this benefit show is increasing with almost every breath I take. I know, seems a bit over dramatic, but I'm being completely serious. So with that, I would like to start our own little Tennessee Revo. Seeing as though Revo is something that you have coined and inspired within me, I find it not only important to ask you first, but also I count it a blessing to have encountered a person with so much passion and drive to see change happen.

So here is what I was thinking; I would like to call our benefit show, REVO Nashville and work with you so that the revolution will begin here and people will begin to wonder what REVO is all about! Basically, I am asking you if you would like to make Revo a nation-wide (Hawaii/Tenn-wide) thing, work together, promote and love, design and dream, pray and plan together...just in different states? Obviously there is a lot more to talk about, but I was driving tonight and i couldn't stop thinking about Jesus...and Jesus in Revo...and Jesus in Hawaii...and Jesus in Africa...and Jesus in Tennessee. I want to spread that Jesus. The everywhere Jesus. 

January 4, 2007

LESLIE!
i would be honored to have you use our name in tennessee!!! no im serious. though our times were short i feel love for you, great love. feel free to call me, we can talk more. 

lets start a revo of love. a revo for jesus!

love you much
aloha ahui ho

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will keep updating the blog with more stories of the REVO journey. After this email between Nina and myself, REVO began to pick up great speed. On April 20, 2007 REVO Nashville put on a benefit event for Blood:Water Mission. On April 21, 2007 REVO Hilo put on a benefit event for Grace of God Orphanage. On March 19, 2008 REVO New York put on a benefit event for Mocha Club. Currently, there are several REVO's being planned in Canada (funny story that I will tell later!), Baton Rouge, Philly, Las Vegas, Chapel Hill, and the list goes on and on. 

visit www.startarevo.org

START A REVO!

"here I raise mine ebenezer..."

today, i begin number 11...

since may 24, 2006 you have kept track of my daily living. you keep my deepest thoughts, share my fondest memories, comfort my unhinged moments, guard my most personal glimpses of Jesus, witness my absentmindedness, understand my fears, embrace my failures, and watch as i grow. 

almost two years later and i am still fond of your pages. i think if you could talk, you would tell me about the places you have traveled, the people that you have met, and the movement that you have inspired. you would talk about how you can be trusted, and how you long to be used for good. you would speak of art and poetry and creation. i wonder how much has been created on your pages? were you there for the beginning of great pieces of literature? do you hold the answers to some of history's greatest questions? are you fond of our stories? 

thank you for keeping my life bound between your covers. thank you for becoming the milestones that I have built along the way to remember where I have come from. 

yours truly, 

leslie

who you are

"Restless soul, what do you need?

Wayward heart, how can you feed

on the lies you were told

when you were bought or sold

for the price that's not fit for any man?

bitter child, you fought a war

against the world, they took your soul

along with your fear and all of your tears

that you tried for so long to hide away 

I've seen the stars beyond your trees

And they paint a picture that is hope for your disease

I've peered down deep into your soul to find 

you're still a child

lover's lie, you bore it all

mother's die, from painful wars

of the soul and the mind that are searching to find

just a piece thats left of your innocence

I've seen the stars beyond your trees

And they paint a picture that is hope for your disease

I've peered down deep into your soul to find 

you're still a child

and the victory is won

not from fighting every war

but in losing what you were 

just to find out who you are" 

you follow me....

"if it is my will that he remain until I come, 

what is it to you? You follow me!"

John 21:22

Blessed of The Earth

"....and i think when they pull blessings out of you, blessings really come forth. They are ready for the blessing. They believe in the blessing, and you are not really sure if it was there until they saw it, expected it, and demanded it. These are the blessed of the earth who usually don't need to be taught contemplation. Suffering seems to teach them." - Everything Belongs

"to garca and back again...."

March 10. 2008

Back home, sitting on the couch as if I have never left. We left Garca on Saturday morning. We traveled to Sao Paulo on the bus and then sat in the airport for seven hours. Flew 8 hours through the night to Miami, waited for another five hours and flew home. There were no tears. Not for me at least. Half way through the week I hit a wall. A very large brick wall that wouldn't allow me to stand on anything I had built.

I got knocked down in order to see the foundation that God had laid in that place before there ever was an Alpha and Omega Children's Home. I had to fall to see that. For the first few days, we just loved on the kids. We knew they had stories, everyone has a story. But we didn't know any details. We knew that life, for one reason or another, had happened to these kids which is why they were here. Tuesday night, we went out for icecream. My mind was spinning because I had become very connected to a few of the kids. I couldn't get it out of my head. And we started talking and sharing stories. Each moment proved to be more difficult to bear than the last. 

A child was sold into prostitution at the age of 8. Another child was sexually abused at such a young age that it forced her to run away and sleep with men for money. Another child's mother is a prostitute, which causes this young girl to hate men and have an unhealthy obsession for women. She is 13. Another child is one of 10 kids from the same mother, but different fathers. Another child, 16 years old, has a son with his mother and has been sold as a prostitute to both men and women. Another child finds herself alone every night in a place filled with men, women and children because all she longs for is the presence of her mother. 

These children have wrecked me. In the most incredible way. 

I bought the book "Awareness," by Anthony DeMello before I left. And as I was reading it on the bus back to Sao Paulo, it started to stick. DeMello speaks of justice and judgement and our inability to be anything other than an ass. He says that there are two ways of responding to injustice. The first is 'reaction.' This response invokes emotion...anger, sadness, frustration, rage, etc. And now there are two issues...injustice and emotion. The second way of responding is 'action.' DeMello states, "what then, would we call the kind of passion that motivates or activates energy into doing something about objective evils? Whatever it is, it is not a reaction, it is an action." We can't allow ourselves to be burdened with emotion when we see injustice. We must act, not react. We must respond to that which does not sit well within us. 

so start a revo....

"don't run...be moved"

"We are part of such a restless generation. Always moving, going, seeking then finding, and choosing to seek more. We are not a generation of finding roots in one place. 

Because we find roots in every place. 

To be moving is to be grounded. It seems like a strange paradox and there are definitely some people who abuse this freedom in order to run. The true movers in this generation don't run. They constantly seek the will of God and beg to be used wherever they are. On the other hand, runners constantly seek a will of their own and use God when necessary. But a mover waits on God. The mover allows their life to bear fruit always. 

And leaving never means running. 

It means obedience, or searching to find, or chasing the trail that the feet in front of you left behind. It involves adventure, but mostly change. They do not see life as something to defend or be ashamed of. So they welcome change. And this change usually takes place from the inside-out. As the mover becomes more aware of who lives inside of them, change happens. Only upon awareness. The runner only welcomes external change. In hopes that it will one day change the inside. I know too many people like this. 

And I actually used to be a runner. Until I became aware of what I was not. 

I was not a mover. I was not a true friend. I was not an inspiration or even inspired. I was not honest with anyone. I was not afraid of God, just everything around me. I was not a leader. I was not using what He gave me. I was not perfect. I was not right. I was not aware. 

"Sometimes you have to get rid of 'God' in order to find God." -Anthony DeMello, Awareness

This statement became truth in my life. Sometimes you have to get rid of your knowledge of God in order to be aware of who God is in you. And you have to find out what you are capable of without Him in order to be aware of what you are incapable of without Him. 

This is the  transformation from runner to mover. 

So here I am. Rooted in one of the most religiously over-saturated cultures in this country. Being prepared to move. Watching as people around me are being moved by the heart of Jesus. Whether that is down the street, or down three states. They move. Following the movement of Jesus. They are planting churches, adopting children, starting new organizations, inspiring young adults, agreeing to be moved right where God has them, loving the unlovely, stepping in to fill someone else's shoes, writing books, serving two year olds, traveling to Cambodia, writing songs, being vulnerable, serving their families, becoming selfless, never awaiting approval of man and always seeking the face of Jesus. 

They are men and women, married and single. They are my friends, my neighbors, my leaders, my mentors, my family. They pray for wisdom. They respond to injustice with action. They love people. They are great people. They have something to say only because they are aware that God has written the words on their lips and on their hearts. They are true disciples. 

So don't run...be moved."

"...a King and a Kingdom."